Finding Our Joyspan – One Lunch at a Time

By

 

Yesterday, we had lunch in Alabang West to celebrate a July birthday. As always, it was full of stories, laughter, and good food—sashimi, unagi, grilled salmon. We even ended with cake and very expensive but satisfying coffee in a Japanese coffee shop. A few of us shared personal challenges, like sickness in the family, but only in passing. The real highlight was simply being together.

Later, I remembered an article I read in The New York Times about a word I had never heard before: Joyspan. It’s not about how long we live (lifespan), or how long we stay healthy (healthspan), but how much of life we actually enjoy. The word was coined by Dr. Kerry Burnight, who says we can extend our joyspan by doing four things: Grow, Adapt, Give, and Connect.

Grow.
Curiosity keeps us young. One of our friends at the table used to be in a band and now wants to learn the bass guitar. That’s growth!

Adapt.
We all make changes as we age. We don’t meet monthly as often anymore, but yesterday, everything worked out perfectly—just like old times.

Give.
Sometimes, the best gift is just showing up and really listening. That’s what we did for each other yesterday, without even trying.

Connect.
Our stories, fist bumps, and laughter are more than fun—they keep us alive inside. They remind us we’re not alone.

We may not be running around like we used to, but we’re still growing, adapting, giving, and connecting. That’s Joyspan. And as we look forward to our next lunch—for the August celebrant and for the simple joy of being together—we shall continue to toast our glasses for the friendship we nourish and the joy we choose to keep alive, month after month.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Family Pictorial: Capturing Love

By
Image
  Before our two daughters flew back to Canberra after their vacation, they came up with a bright idea: “Let’s do a family pictorial—professional this time!” My first thought? “Why not just do it like we did last time?” You know, good old DIY style. We hung a white cloth for a backdrop, dressed in matching light-colored blazers (medio-forma) and the ladies wore their fine white dresses. We used a tripod, one proper camera, and a couple of cellphones. Not bad at all—the photos turned out pretty decent. I used some of the shots, including a few funny and awkward poses, in our 2023 family calendar. But this time, the girls were serious. Studio shoot. Casual outfits. Real photographer. Real lights. Real instructions like: “Ngeti po, sir.” “Ma’am, tingin po sa camera.” “Lagay po ang kamay sa pants pocket.” “Put your hand on his shoulder.” “Lean your head.” So there we were, gamely posing as a family: ·          The whole gang together...
Read more

Too Much Happiness? A Reminder from My Sister

By
  Too Much Happiness? A Reminder from My Sister My eldest living sister, Mely, is now 90 years old. At every family gathering, when there’s too much laughter and joy, she would quietly remind us: "Eko masyadung matula”   It always makes us pause. It may sound like an old superstition, but she truly believes it. For her, too much happiness might bring the opposite—tears or misfortune. This belief comes from the older Filipino generation, especially in the provinces. Life back then was harder, so they learned not to celebrate too loudly or too long. Maybe it was their way of protecting themselves from disappointment. At first, I found it too cautious. But over time, I’ve come to understand her point. It’s not really about being afraid to be happy. It’s about being thankful, humble, and aware that life always has ups and downs. Now, whenever we’re all laughing and enjoying each other’s company, I still hear her voice in my head. And instead of feeling afraid, I just sm...
Read more

The Company We Keep: Stories of Friendship

By
 Sometime in 1993 or 1994—it was so long ago, I can’t quite pin down the year—my business partner and good friend moved our office to one of the buildings along Ayala Avenue, Makati. It was a newly bought old building, formerly owned by a bank and sold to another bank. Our company became one of the new tenants. On our floor were two other small businesses: one in trading and the other in freight forwarding. We were in import-export. By daily chance, we’d bump into each other in the building’s cafeteria. Eventually, we started sharing lunch. Tired of the usual cafeteria food, we began exploring the food stalls around Makati Commercial Center, then gradually graduated to restaurants. This routine turned us from acquaintances into real friends. The three of us all lived in the south, and in time, we ended up moving to the same village. Another friend from the north remained part of our group. We kept our traditions alive—celebrating birthdays (with the celebrant exempted from pay...
Read more